the art of listening
December 24, 2006 by jenmcarthur
I have come to believe that listening is a lost art. I mean truly listening to someone. One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone asks you a question and you start to answer them but right in the middle of you talking, they begin talking again about something totally different or perhaps commenting on your answer when you haven’t even gotten the full thing out yet. Another example of bad listening - someone asks you a question and you answer them but they give no response because they really weren’t listening to your answer. Apparently they were asking the question just to talk. Then there is my all time favorite when you are telling a story or simply talking about something that happened to you and the person looks like they are going to burst because as soon as you take a breath they interject with a story about “how that happened to them onetime” or “well, at least such and such didn’t happen to you like it did to me”. (For those of you who have seen Brian Regan, think of the “you, ME, you, ME” scene).
If anything, I just really appreciate good listeners. For example my sister, Taryn, is a wonderful listener. (Not saying that the rest of you reading this blog aren’t, I am just using her as a great example) When I need to talk about anything, she always listens and it is almost as if her spirit is praying while I’m talking and I can tell she is truly listening and really cares. She never tries to one up my story, she never interrupts, she just listens and always gives me wonderful advise. This, my friends, is what compassionate listening truly is.
So, in conclusion, I am on the search for something in the bible about listening… I know there has to be something in there about it - it’s too important not to it seems. Any thoughts or feelings on this subject would be greatly welcomed as it is something that is really burning on my heart right now.
Wow 2 posts in less than 12 hours of eachother. You must’ve been LISTENING to all the advice we left on that one post. Good job Jen. you’re on you’re way to being a famous blogger. (the famous blogger is said with sarcasm , because it is a dumb goal to pursue)
I’m actually commenting before I’ve concluded reading your blog. Apparently I’m a bad listener.
Good blog yo. Do a search for “hear” and “listen” in E-Sword. This will be an amazing place to start. Pretty wild how many times the Lord had to start off a sentence by saying, “Listen!” Read James 1:19. If we could only all get this down!
Hey Jen,
Thank you for the awsome complement… I will truely try to listen anytime… thanks for who you are, the man that gets you will be one priveledged man!!! I think i need to do a post on my sister Jen that would make an incredible wife… what do you think…
just kidding - love you
Ooops! Sorry Jen, I think I did that to you the other day. In all fairness, about three people were talking at the same time. I always think what you have to say is important! Sorry….hope you can forgive me.
One of the biggest challenges for my teenage children has been to listen. They are bright and often too quickly move from A to D rather than thinking (or listening) through the process. As a father, its had to become one of the main things to emphasize, as poor listening causes many things to break down in relationships. With all thy getting, get this… no doubt about it. Great post, Jen!
oooh man! I know what you mean! If only i was there to….listen…haha!!
Hey Jen—I was reading Andy’s blog and saw the link to yours and ended up reading your comments on listening with interest. You are right that listening is an art. I have a bunch of training in listening in my backround and still find my self all too often jumping in before someone is finished (ask my wife) In James 1:19 he challenges us to ” be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath…” That whole verse would be good to meditate on and get into my spirit. Listening actively ,by reflecting back to another what you heard them say ,is a key building block in good communication. They can then verify what they’ve said or correct any misperceptions. When someone knows the other person has heard them they feel valued and important to that person. That builds trust and paves the way for opening up and sharing more deeply with that person. Hum, as I’m writing this I’m thinking this works in relationship to the Lord too. When we listen to him and reflect back what we’ve heard He knows we are hearing Him and will trust us with more. How cool is that! Keep on searching the word for more on what He says about listening. There is tons of stuff! Bless you—Kevin Bennett
Amen, Kevin!! Thank you for that input - that blesses me more than you know! That’s exactly the kind of thing I am talking about.. the importance of listening and the different facets that it entails that we may not even think about. Good stuff! Thank you!